Jinx's Past
by Thornsword
Summary: In order for Jinx to become an Honorary Titan, her mind must first be checked by Raven. it's just the usual things - sanity, allegiance, memories, things like that. But Jinx can never show her past to anyone. she must never lose control... what happens when she has to?


**Hey guys!**

**So… first things first: I apologize profusely for how much I stuffed the characters up. They are so OOC it's not even funny, so I sincerely apologize.**

**Ahh… it's 2:45 AM so that means it took me around about 4 hours to finish this, but who's counting?**

**Disclaimer: no, I don't. I wish I did, but I don't.**

"I just don't think it's the best idea, Flash" said Robin, trying to find the nicest way of putting it.

Kid Flash rolled his eyes and tried again. "Robin, I told you, she's changed-"

"So you've told me" interrupted Robin "but the fact remains that she was a through-and-through _villain _last time I saw her. And we don't allow villains to join the Teen Titans. She can still be good. I don't care. We don't allow villains on the team."

The door to Robin's bedroom opened and Raven walked in, still as blank-faced as ever. "If you two are really going to keep arguing about this, I can do a check."

"And what exactly would you _do _in this 'check'?" asked Kid Flash suspiciously. Raven looked at him, her expression screaming at him '_really? Are you really asking me that question?'_

"Look at her memories, sift through her intentions, make sure she's actually as good as you say" she replied monotonously.

Kid Flash opened his mouth to say something, but then decided against it. "I'll go get her then" he said as he rushed away in a blur of yellow and red.

Robin unconsciously timed him in his head. _1… 2… 3… 4…_

There was a rush of air and Kid Flash appeared in the room again, this time he was holding Jinx bridal-style.

"What the hell Wally? What's going on?" she looked around "and why are we at Titans Tower?" Kid Flash inly nodded at Robin, indicating that he was going to do the explaining. And therefore receiving any hexing done by Wally's highly-strung girlfriend.

She didn't understand the meaning of _'don't shoot the messenger.'_

"well… we have agreed that you can become an honorary Titan" a smile graced Jinx's face "but there are conditions" the smile disappeared "you have to let Raven make sure your intentions are good and determine whether or not you have actually and completely come over to our side."

Jinx nodded. This seemed reasonable, after all, she used to be a villain. "And" Robin continued "you have to let her see your memories."

At those words, Jinx eyes widened. No one can _ever _see her past. It has to stay locked up tightly lest it spill over and consume her.

Shaking her head and stumbling backwards, Jinx ran out of the room. Of course, Mr. trust-no-one-raised-by-Batman saw this as suspicious behavior and ran after her, determined to capture her.

It wasn't hard, considering her state of shock. He half-dragged half-lead her into the medical bay and strapped her to the table.

That part was hard. She was determined to _never _let anyone see her past. Robin thought that she was only doing that to hide the fact that she was never good, and she never will be.

Stupid, stupid Robin.

The other inhabitants of the tower soon joined them after hearing the commotion. Alas, them arriving only caused more commotion:

"Robin? Is friend Jinx sick?"

"Umm… should we do something?"

"Dude, what are you thinking?"

"Robin!"

Etc.

Once Jinx was secure, Robin stepped back. "Now" he said slowly and dangerously "you will show everyone here your memories and your past. _Villain._"

Jinx struggled even more and started tearing up. No one could _ever ever ever _see her past.

_No one._

"Raven" beckoned Robin "I want you to broadcast her memories into all of our minds. I think we all need to see this."

Raven looked very uncomfortable at the request, but she understood what Robin was feeling.

Worry – for Kid Flash and his heart, for the peace the Titans worked so hard to achieve.

Anger – for all the crimes she had committed, for her trying to run away, for Kid Flash's immediate trust in her, for her reaction, for the fact she was a villain.

Suspicion - for her past, for her motives, for her intentions, for what side she was on, for her feelings for Kid Flash.

There were others thrown into the mix, but those ones stood out the most. "Ok" she said as she approached Jinx, giving her an apologizing look while receiving a pleading look in return.

A look that said _Please don't do this. Please don't make me. I can't take it. I can't take you knowing._

_I can't take him knowing._

Raven almost gave in. almost. In the end she lightly placed her hands on the young girls' face and closed her eyes.

"_Mommy, mommy, look what I found!" a two-year-old Jinx said, holding up a small flower. Her mother was sitting at a rusted garden table that was too high for Jinx to see the top of._

_Her mother laughed and picked little Jinx up to rest her on her knee. "What have you got there Jenny?" she asked playfully._

"_It's a flower! And it didn't go brown!" Jinx – or rather, Jenny said happily. Her mother told her it was wonderful and put her down on the ground._

"_Go run along now sweetie, we don't have long before your father gets home." Jenny looked back up at her mother, sensing something was wrong. She toddled up to her mother's chair and fiddled with a strand of bond hair, unaware that pulling her mother's hair was giving her pain._

"_Ow! Come on Dear, don't do that" she cooed softly. "When I'm older mommy, I'm gonna be a superhero!" Jenny said enthusiastically, throwing her arms up in the air. Mommy chuckled good-naturedly at her daughters' ambition. _

_Jenny was placed on the ground again and instead of running off to find more wildflowers like she usually would, she sat down and wondered for the first time why she was so unlike her mommy._

_Mommy had long, soft, beautiful blonde locks that went all the way down to her feet._

_Jenny's hair was a light, baby pink colour and it always managed to stick up._

_Mommy had a nice pink glow to her skin._

_Jenny's skin was like sun-bleached stone._

_Mommy had bluebell eyes and rosebud lips._

_Jenny's eyes were cat-like and a bright, startling pink._

_In short, Mommy was pretty_

_And Jenny was not._

_Before she knew it, the sun was setting in the sky and the sound of keys turning in the lock reached Jenny's ears._

_Daddy's home._

_Panic rushed through Jenny's veins and rumbled in her ears. Her mother quickly hid the book she was reading and ran to greet him._

_Time went quickly after that, only slowing down when dinner was over and she knew what was about to happen._

_And she knew how much it hurt._

_Daddy, Mommy and Jenny had all gathered in the small living room and were watching some old movie. About halfway through the movie, Daddy got bored._

"_Aren't you tired now Amelia? Don't you think you should go to bed?" he said like mixing honey with poison. _

_Her voice shook like her hands as she agreed that she was very tired and made her way to bed. "Now it's just you and me" he told Jenny. The young girl tried to hide her terror as she saw him raise his hand and bring down on her face, leaving a stinging mark as proof._

_Jenny felt herself tearing up, but refused to let the tears fall and left them burning behind her eyes. Crying made it worse. The next blow threw her off the couch. _

_The next kick threw her against the wall._

_The next kick ended with her in fetal position._

_The next attack was verbal_

_Useless_

_Weak_

_Unwanted_

_Pain_

_Mistake_

_Bad Luck._

_With the next kick, she threw up blood. _

_Jenny felt energy swelling up again and fought to keep it from overflowing._

_Daddy grumbled about the stain and told her that she'd have to clean it up in the morning._

_Then he send her off to bed._

_When the sun arose again, Jenny's tiny body was on fire. She dragged herself into the bathroom and tried to reach for the taps. Eventually she gave up due to the pain in her arms. _

_After getting dressed and limping down the stars Jenny dampened a dish cloth and tried to get her blood out of the carpet. _

_As she was doing this, something hard collided with the back of her head and she passed out._

_When she awoke, she found that she was in unfamiliar clothes and in an unfamiliar room. The door opened and an elderly-ish man walked in, carrying a tray of food. "Ah good! You're awake!"_

_Jenny just looked at him. "Welcome to Weathervane Orphanage!" he said brightly, as if coming here was the best thing that has ever happened in history._

_The man set the tray down in her lap and then exited the room. She soon found out through subtle questioning that she just arrived unconscious at the doorstep._

_It was two years before she let the energy spill over again. By this time, all the kids had already taken to bullying her because of how she looked and how she acted._

"_Hey look, there's Jenny the Jinx!" that's what they called her. Jenny the Jinx. They called her that because bad stuff kept happening whenever she was around. People got hurt._

_Jenny tried to hide her face behind her bubblegum pink hair that matched her candy floss pink eyes. But it didn't work._

_Soon the kids had all surrounded her, trapping her and cutting off any means of escape. Tom was out for the day and Mary, David, Leila and Anna, the other caretakers, hated her._

_The familiar build-up of energy started as soon as she saw them forming a ring of laughing, jeering, sadistic kids around her._

_But no matter what happens, she thought, don't release the energy._

_At first they were just teasing her, until someone made the first move. A little boy that had no idea what was going on but wanted to fit in threw a stick of chalk at her. Then someone spat on her. Another girl pegged a bouncy ball at her head._

_One kicked, another punched, a third smacked. She closed her eyes, trying to control the energy, the power that was expanding inside of her. This time, nothing could keep Friday 13__th__ coming early._

_Pink sparks flew off her fingers and out of her eyes, her whole body seemed to be crackling with pink energy._

_Then it rolled off her in waves. All the kids ran off either screaming or crying or both. Many of them tripped just where the ditch was, some ran into each other, the box of chalk exploded, sand was blown into people's eyes. Many things happened. All of them got hurt._

_From then on, she was isolated from the other kids. She was locked up in her room and meals were served to her via the gap between the door and the floor._

_Jenny the Jinx, Jenny the Jinx, Jenny the Jinx, Jenny the Jinx…. Oh how true that all was. She wasn't even 'Jenny' now. She was just a Jinx. A Curse. A Poison._

_She stopped eating altogether. That is until several days later, when a man named Brother Blood came to visit her._

_When the door opened, Jinx looked at her visitor with dead eyes. "Hello" he said "my name is Brother Blood and I run an institution for people like you."_

_Jinx flinched a bit at the 'people like you' comment, but it also left her with hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe there __were__ people like her. Freaks._

"_Did you want to come?" Asked Brother Blood. Jinx hesitantly nodded and Brother Blood smiled a cold-hearted smile and stood up._

"_Excellent. What's your name?" he asked. Jinx looked coldly into his soulless eyes. "Jinx." One of the new caretakers walked straight up to Brother Blood and began correcting the child._

"_Silly girl" she told him "her name's Jennifer R-"_

"_I don't believe I asked you. She knows her name well enough. Jinx will do just fine." Brother Blood interrupted coldly._

_With that, he grabbed Jinx by her arm and dragged her into the car. "I will teach you how to control those powers of yours, Jinx and in exchange you must always follow my orders."_

_The small girl trembled in fear of the man. The man that felt so very much like her father._

_When they arrived at HIVE academy, she didn't go into the kindergarten level like she probably should have. Brother Blood had plans for her. Plans to make her into his personal assassin._

_Bad Luck, he mused. Such an… alluring opportunity…_

_An eight-year old Jinx stood coldly in the shadow of Brother Blood. "Now that you are going into proper schooling I feel the need to remind you that you listen only to me! Don't go off and get ideas into your head because your future is set."_

"_Yes, Brother Blood" she replied monotonously. On the first week of school, she was assigned a team. This team consisted of just two other members: Aquarius and Wolf._

_There was a scavenger hunt laid out and a race began. They agreed to split up for no more than 15 minutes and each take two things on the list. They would meet up near the finish line._

_Jinx ran through back ends and down alleyways looking for the two items on her list: a silver chain and a black cat. As she was turning a corner, she bumped into someone. That wasn't good._

_She stepped back and was about to run off when the lady grabbed her shoulders. "Jenny?" she whispered "Jenny is that you?"_

_Jinx looked up out of shock as she recognized the voice. "m-mom?" the lady with choppy short blonde hair and a ripped dress nodded tearfully._

_Then engulfed Jinx in a hug. Jinx didn't move. How could she? They abandoned her to that horrible, horrible orphanage and now she was forced to become a villain. It was all their faults!_

_As she pulled away, Jinx heard the clanging of metal just before an unknown person smashed her head with a pipe. "I told you Amelia" the man said "you can never run from me."_

_Barely conscious, Jinx's mother rolled sluggishly around in the dirt. The man stepped into the light and Jinx saw a face she never wanted to see again. Her father._

_He watched with a sick grin as her mother tried to ignore the pain and get up. Just as she looked conscious enough to say something, her father plunged the lead pipe into her leg._

_She screamed and Jinx wanted to crawl up in a hole, block her ears, shut her eyes and finally, finally escape this living nightmare._

_But she couldn't._

_She was still frozen in place, not making a sound as she watched her father wrenched out the pipe and stabbed her in the side, twisting it around for good measure._

_And there Jinx stood watching, horrified of the scene that was taking place before her. All Brother Blood's training and preparing had been for nothing because when she came up against this…. Monster of a father, she froze._

_Just as she always had. Just as she always will._

_With a sadistic look in his eye and a smile of pure pleasure on his mouth, he thrust the pipe right into the middle of her chest, making her suffer for another twenty seconds before she died._

_It was then her father realized she was standing there. He walked away from his wife's corpse, raised the bloody pipe and charged._

_It was then that Jinx's fingers unconsciously clicked. After a few years trailing with Brother Blood, you develop an automatic defense system, because you soon learn that if you don't… you die._

_The sign hanging off the building and the monster was hit with a steel board bigger than he was. At first, Jinx was relieved._

_She was alive, the monster was gone, the demon of her nightmares, the source of her fear, he was gone._

_But her mother was gone. In the most painful way Jinx could have ever imagined._

_And he's only gone because….. because I killed him._

_Jinx was sick to her stomach and emptied the contents of her breakfast on the corner. Then she moved as far away from the bodies as she could. But they weren't far away and they were never going to be far away again because she would always be thinking about them._

_Her parents._

_One was murdered._

_One she murdered._

_She spent all week crying and she wouldn't see anyone. Not even Brother Blood. She was depressed but she didn't show it and whenever someone brought up the subject, she danced around it._

_Always dancing around the fire._

_On the first week of high school, she was given a new team: the HIVE five. This team consisted of Mammoth, Gizmo, Private HIVE, Seymour and her._

_This was to be her team until she turned 18. It was then that she would become an assassin. The thought of killing all those people made her want to throw up and run away._

_But she didn't have the luxury of running away._

_It continued like this for years, looting, stealing, breaking and entering and always being foiled by the same Teen Titans. Capes, go figure._

_That was, until someone changed the schedule and no one told her. It was a normal night, midnight in fact and Jinx needed all the good luck she could get._

_But all she got was a rose._

_Several times over the next few capers, the same cocky, arrogant speedster would foil them in record time._

_And the roses, always the roses._

_Anytime they came across each other's paths, he would talk about her being to good for this kind of thing, always believing that she could be good._

_But he didn't understand._

_She was bad luck, she had always been bad luck and will always be bad luck._

_Bad luck is on the bad side._

_But she loved the way he would keep trying._

_He flirted with her and she acted like she was annoyed._

_She had always wanted to be a superhero, but the things she had done… the things she's seen!_

"_You're better than this" he'd say in that voice she'd come to look forward to. "You can change." _

"_You're good."_

_It was like Jinx was still five years old, trying to figure out why she was bad luck and why everybody hated her_

_And Kid Flash just came along, held out his hand and said "it's ok! You can always choose, but whatever you choose you just need to be happy!" all the while smiling that cocky grin of his and leaving her a rose._

_And she loved him for that._

_One night, she finally believed him._

_She believed that she was better,_

_She believed that she could change, _

_She believed that she was good,_

_She believed in him._

_But he would never know that. Ever. His head would explode from his ego._

_Jinx chuckled at the thought as she packed her bags, taking only what she bought and a few things from the cupboards._

_Leaving a note on the countertop, specifying that why she was leaving was none of their business and she was leaving Seemore in charge._

_She walked out the door and headed for the park. Parks have park benches and therefore they have a place to sleep._

_She sat down on a random bench and began sifting through the things in her bag to find the food that she packed. She was hungry._

"_Don't tell me you left the cookies" came a familiar voice._

_Without looking at him, Jinx threw a choc-chip cookie in his direction before extracting one out of the box for herself._

"_Yum" Kid Flash said with his mouth full, having already scoffed his down while Jinx gently nibbled on hers, thinking._

_Why is he still here? Congrats, he's made be quit the bad guys but shouldn't he have just gone onto the next villain he wants to 'reform' by now? Why is a hero like him with a murderer like me? Is this just his charity of the month?_

"_So, now that you're one of the good guys where're you gonna stay?" Kid Flash asked Jinx, actually sounding genuinely concerned._

_She turned to him, surprised at the question but now blushing madly from the closeness between their faces. He's blushing as well._

_I've never been this close with anyone before. Well, anyone that doesn't want to kill me or hurt me in some way, thought Jinx_

"_See, there you go again" Kid Flash remarks in a hushed tone, not moving his forehead away from hers. _

"_What do you mean?" Jinx asks in the same volume_

"_All of a sudden you'll get this horribly sad expression. Like just now, you were blushing, which was cute by the way, and then you looked like you were going to either jump off a cliff or act happy and pretend nothing is wrong."_

_He can never know what She's done. If he does he'll leave and never come back. No more roses and no more sunshine._

"_What's bothering you?" he asked_

_She told him that she was worried about the future – "I just quit my life, have nowhere to stay, no side that'll take me because I'm a traitor to the bad guys and a villain to the good guys" she said_

_Her head somehow ended up on his chest and his arms somehow ended up tightly and protectively wound around her_

'_It's ok'_

'_You're good'_

'_You're better than them'_

"_You could come and stay with me for a bit" Kid Flash said._

_Jinx thought for a while, then she nodded into his shirt._

_The more recent memories sped up and eventually they became a blur._

Everyone blinked themselves back to reality and they were all crying, but no one more than Kind Flash and Jinx.

"Well, now you know" she said shakily as she got hexed the buckles open. "Did that satisfy you, Robin? Are you convinced I'm good now or was all that just for kicks?"

Jinx needed to get out, _really, desperately _needed to get out before the aftermath came. So she gave Robin a quick once-over, she wouldn't even look at Kid Flash, scared of the blame and resentment she was sure she would find in his gaze.

And with that, the Mistress of Misfortune left, and within 30 seconds, Kid Flash went to find her. "We really shouldn't have done that" Raven said, blowing up one of the computers because of her powers.

I-I had no idea that she- that her- the he" said Robin, who had never been more sorry in his life for making her re-live and show that to everybody.

Cyborg just got up and left. Beast Boy was silent.

Jinx ran. She ran as fast as she could, to anywhere. It didn't matter anymore, nothing matters anymore.

_He knows he knows he knows he knows…_

She ran to the top of an abandoned building and caught her breath. Jinx walked to the very edge of the building and looked down.

It would be a fast, non-painful death, unlike the ones that were waiting for her before. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't jump.

"After all this time, I still don't have the courage to jump. Even though he knows!" she sat down, her feet dangling over the edge "he knows" she said one more time, like a broken doll of fine china, just about ready to fall apart.

"Don't jump" said Kid Flash, he had been listening to her the whole time. Jinx gasped and turned around, then she sighed and walked across the roof to meet him, feet heavy, head down and arms raised.

"Come on then" she said like she was never happy and she never will be. Kid Flash was confused.

"What are you doing Jinx?" he asked her.

"Aren't you going to arrest me? Shoot me? Stick me into a mental asylum?" she asked in the same monotone voice.

Like fine china.

Kid Flash's heart broke at the sight of her and the effect of him knowing her past. He pulled her into an embrace.

"No. I can't do that to someone I love" he said, still crying slightly. Although he had never really thought about it, he knew it was true. He loved Jinx. He wasn't going to shove her away just because her childhood was so indescribably awful. _He loved her_ and nothing was going to change that.

Jinx took a step back. Is he actually real? Could such a person like him even exist? He had already done so much for her and yet he does more.

"So you're not mad? How can you not be mad?! I'm a murderer!" she sunk to her knees and sobbed uncontrollably.

Kid Flash knelt down and tilted her face up. "No, you're not" he said "I don't care what anyone else thinks. Don't you think you've suffered enough?"

More tears leaked through Jinx's eyes. Suffered? She had suffered _so much. _When was it time for her to be happy?

"And do you know what I'd like to hear more than anything else in the world right now?" he asked her. She shook her head.

"Your reply" said Kid Flash simply. "I love you, Jinx more than anything else in the whole wide world. And I should know, I've been everywhere."

Jinx gave a spluttery Laugh. What kind of question is that? "Of course I love you Kid Flash. There wasn't ever any doubt though, was there?"

Kid Flash Laughed, picked her up and spun her around, despite what they had witnessed not half an hour before. When he set her down, they each got lost in their thoughts and each other's eyes.

They both leaned in and when their lips met, that was probably the best moment in either of their lives. They were both crying and they were both complete emotional messes but at that moment, neither of them cared.

They walked down the stairs of the abandoned building, hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder and they were both beyond ecstatic.

"Hey Kid Flash?" Jinx asked once they had gotten out of the building.

"Yea?"

"If you're not mad at me, then why do you seem so angry?" she asked, cupping his cheek in her hand.

"Robin"

"Ah."

"Why couldn't he see that you were not ready to tell everybody? And you were screaming your head off, trying to fight him. Can't the guy take a hint?!" he exclaimed, angry that the fact that people seeing Jinx's past made her want to jump off a roof.

Suddenly, he pulled Jinx into him and put his chin on the top of her head. "Please don't _ever _scare me like that again."

"You mean back there on the roof?" she asked. Kid Flash nodded.

She smiled "ok."

**Well that ending is rubbish.**

**This is officially the longest one-shot I've ever written so I feel both really proud and really ashamed of myself.**

**Proud because this is the longest one-shot I've ever written: 4572 words! Weee!**

**Ashamed of myself because of the amazing OOCness in this story. ugh! **

**Anyway, thanks for reading till the end and I'm sorry I gave Jinx such a depressing life.**

**Flinx!**

**Peace out, **

**Thornsword. XD**


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